Mercenaries as Factions
My first introduction to Mercenaries felt a little odd. I didn't get right away that we now had a 2 pick system involving both squads and Mercenaries (Woot, 16 options!). This got me thinking about how this could be better represented.
I think classifying them as factions (Nations, corporations, or whatever) would simply make this more intuitive by virtue of the wording. Also adding a theme and flag/logo/emblem would make things MUCH more reconcilable in game.
/Most petty complaint ever
Comments
Obviously this is just an issue of phrasing, but I do think that it's more consistent to go with something slightly less broad than Mercenaries. Really, as they are, they represent "Mercenary Groups" or "Mercenary Factions." Factions! Good, better. I think just anything less broad than "Mercenaries" might be an improvement.
Not petty at all!
Naming is one of those things that's both very hard to get exactly right but very very easy to change. This is all reasonable stuff. We currently like "mercenaries" as we want them to be a supporting force rather than the core army. But, as you suggest there are some confusions/inconsistencies in there.
I think "Mercenaries" is a good name though, the connotations help explain why you have to re-purchase them all the time, and they'll fight for any squad, while your loyal squad members just come back for free. The group part is pretty implicit from the structure and need not be said. In particular, you don't want players to construe these as playable factions when they're supporting units that pair with any playable faction. Basically there are two faction concepts and you need care to avoid getting them mixed up.
Once the game gets final polish, and a tutorial, they can be "mercenaries" while still having more of an identity than "Square Assault Troops" or "Triangle Raiders". They can then have a flag and a name like "Alzabarak's Hit Team of Winged Warriors", and all the flavor text you can eat. If I had time, I'd start on the story of Alzabarak's Winged Warriors myself. Once upon a time an unlikely band of heroes formed: one was a perfect cube, one was a robot with a giant wrench, one was a flying cannon with metal pedipalps...
plz continue i can not stop laughing haha
Once upon a time an unlikely band of heroes formed: one was a perfect cube, one was a robot with a giant wrench, one was a flying cannon with metal pedipalps, and together they strove to save the world! But that's very expensive, so the first thing they had to do was earn a lot of gems.
Alzabarak, the master of the wrench, formed this team of great heroes. Being a plumber is all well and good for saving the world, and for earning a bit of coin on the side, but he had bigger plans. Plans bigger than 1-2 plumbers with assorted mounts. Plans that would take friends. Clearly, this would greatly expand the scope of his quest.
Fortunately for Alzabarak, as he walked out on the street to find a team he stumbled across a perfect cube. "Why are you sad, little cube?", he asked.
The cube was indignant. "I'm not sad, why would you think I'm sad?"
"Well it's hard to read the facial expression of a perfect cube."
"Oh yeah. I've been meaning to get a face, but they're so expensive these days."
"Then join me on my quest to collect gems, and save the world! It takes exactly three people to do this."
"I'm well aware that any endeavor worth doing takes exactly three people (per side). I will join you, at least for the collect gems part."
And so Burdock, the multi-dimensional square, joined the party. I need hardly explain how Mitchard joined subsequently, for it was in the usual manner that you ingratiate yourself with a flying cannon with metal pedipalps.
This is one of the more interesting details of the world that Alzabarak wished to save. The cyborg species that lived together in a sporadic peace had one anomalous member. The fly-spider-cannon-mech family, combining all the best parts of flys, spiders, mechs and cannons, had begun to mutate. The innocuous original fly-spider-cannon-mech had the size of a fly, and it was just adorable. Later on it had the size of a spider, which was getting a little creepy. Then it had the size of a cannon, and now there were seen variants that were the size of a 'let's destroy Tokyo' mech.
These giant fly-spider-cannon-mechs, known as leviathans, were being seen more and more frequently. In growing numbers, many exclaimed that they foretold the end of something. Mitchard was a kind and gentle leviathan, always stroking people softly with his metal pedipalps (Until that creeped them the hell out, and they asked him to stop. Which he did, because he was nice like that.). These doomsday prophecies concerned him, for he feared that his race would first be wiped out by some higher power to prevent calamity. To him, saving the world and saving his race were one and the same. But first he wanted to earn some gems and buy fancy pedipalp mittens, which were all the rage those days.
And there were three.
"Now that we're a team, we need a cool name!" said Alzabarak, "Like Alzabarak's Winged Warriors!"
"I like it!" said Mitchard.
"Of course you do, you have wings", vented the perfect cube, "I'm just a cube!"
"Sorry, I didn't know you were mad, there's still no facial expressions."
Alzabarak explained patiently, "The Leviathan is the winged, I'm the warrior, you're the "s" (justification for plural)", but before he could continue explaining his really well thought out name something magical happened.
"Look, a job post!" shouted Mitchard. No time left for arguing over the name, they rushed over to the job board. After an intense brawl with the one other group of mercs that showed up, they got the job. And for thirty gems apiece, they were off to clean the stables.
The stables had been infested by plants, growing in the fertile horse manure environment and dumping their icky plant-poop all over the ground. They had to find, and destroy, the source of the plants.
It quickly devolved into the most brutal combat. When most people think of plants, they think of placid, simple greenery. Perhaps a delicate sunflower, or a green lump that spits out a pea once in-a-while. These plants had a taste for blood. And since they didn’t have sensory organs to precisely identify the blood-carrying members of the party (honestly, I don’t know if a perfect cube has blood on the inside or not) they were just indiscriminately violent. Even the saplings stuck without provocation. So the team set in to earn their pay.
In front was Burdock, a perfect cube. How does a perfect cube fight, you ask? That’s a good question and may not be answered here. For Burdock just stood in front of the others the whole time. It was super effective, as the plants would shoot at him and he would just stand there, still a cube. It was a masterful execution of a key supporting role… but we haven’t yet seen a perfect cube fight.
Alzabarak considered himself leader of the party, because he had the most strategic role. He was more than capable of dealing a dami (the singular of damage, used when you only deal one point per hit) like anyone else. His wrench was large, and mighty, and he assumed that it was enchanted with fire or something, so he waded into melee with reckless abandon.
But pretty soon he got tired of that, and moved onto the strategic damage. With a mighty twist of his wrench, he shut off the water mains to the stables. In a few days, all the plants would wither and die, guaranteeing ultimate victory.
Of course, Mitchard was part giant cannon so he just shot them all and they died. So they progressed, room by room, until at last they came to the stables’ nexus.
“No, I am not yet finished!” screamed the plant queen as they entered the room.
“If this is a bad time, we can come back later” said Mitchard. But Alzabarak immediately shouted “If this is a bad time, then we attack!”, before whispering to Mitchard “This is an enemy, I’ll explain the concept to you again later”.
Mitchard did not get the hint. “I’ll let her explain, she has first hand experience as an enemy after all.”
So Mitchard floated over to the plant queen. “Hello evil plant terror enemy. I’m Mitchard, and I’m trying to save the Leviathans from extinction.”
“Ugh, I am so not impressed by leviathans”, she drawled. “So obsessed with size, but size doesn’t matter.”
“It’s not the size, it’s how you use it!” And he punched her in the face with his giant pedipalps, a one-hit KO that ensured victory for the team. Also, finally proving that some leviathans are sensitive about their weight.
It was a happy ending, because they got paid. But while rejoicing over this wonderful event, they began to wish for something more.
“The gems are okay, I guess”, said Mitchard, “but my robotic parts are wearing down. Can we get some scrap as part of the payment next time?”
“And some soup!” chimed in Burdock.
“Why do you want soup?”
“Mercs have to eat too you know.”
“But you’re a perfect cube. Where does it go?”
“The minute that I buy myself a face, I will pour soup down my face-hole. It has always been my dream.”
“Okay”, said Mitchard.
Then there was a kind of awkward silence.
Then Burdock changed the topic, “I heard there’s a place up north where they hire mercenaries for fighting. The news I got is a little out of date, but it promised soup and gems.”
“I heard of that too”, said Mitchard, “that there was some endless fighting up there for a super important reason. My rumor mill didn’t know exactly what, but I trust it’s a really good reason to fight. Morally uplifting stuff that makes you proud to get paid to be alive. Plus my source said they pay scrap.”
"One day," said Alzabarak, "we will join them in the plains and the valleys. We will fight for the future of this world. And we'll make a fortune doing it". And they rode Mitchard off into the sunset, searching for a better job board to the north.
As soon as I can get a signature, It is totally going to be “The minute that I buy myself a face, I will pour soup down my face-hole. It has always been my dream.”
@AceAl That was amazing. Thank you.
10/10, would read again.
Does the NDA apply to fanfic? This is awesome.
I would buy an Alzabarack, Master of the Wrench skin for my engineers.
Pretty sure it does. Keep in mind that the NDA is primarily about preventing public misconceptions of the game while it is still in a developmental form. As such, whimsical fanfic could actually be pretty misleading.
Sadly, the solidly platonic humor will be somewhat lost when the placeholder cube model is replaced with the final art.
If somehow the cube stays, I would also buy it a face so it could drink soup.
Thanks for all the positive feedback guys! Positive feedback is always loved.
I would buy pedipalp mittens for my leviathans (and shrikes, which look like they share the same model just smaller). So don't constrain your imagination to just "hats"!
Yes, and it wouldn't be as funny to those outside the play test anyways. If the NDA didn't apply, this would go up right next to my Heroes of the Storm fan-fic: http://alan.imagin-itis.net/?p=503 .
This story was born out-dated with the reference to soup being renamed scrap (which happened before the test weekend build). Hopefully the references to the game-ending mass leviathan push will also get out of date really fast - and that's all before the place holder models get replaced.
Nice story!
Maybe instead of a faction they could be a band of mercenaries. You select your band of mercenaries.